You窶况e been licking those hallucinogenic toads again, haven窶冲 you?
That is not acne. You have contracted the dreaded 窶惑lesh eating窶 infection. Amputation of the head may be required.
You could be developing health problems related to the electromagnetic emissions from your computer. Please test your system with CyByrSoft窶冱 Electromagnetic Field Profiler (available through America On Line)
I see a tragic explosion involving an inflatable 窶詫ove窶 doll.
Your tape worm will eventually kill you.
You will be brutally murdered by a jealous spouse. For a small fee (send money to the address listed in the About box), I will attempt to name names.
Do you have major medical? I could write you up a policy if you窶囘 like.
As a consideration to your family and loved ones, make out your will immediately!
I pray that your insurance covers catastrophic illness.
I would rather not reveal the prediction at this time. You should not live out your final days in fear of the horrible and painful death that awaits you shortly.
It seems that you sat in the smoking section of some restaurant last year and now have a virulent and aggressive tumor of the lung. Too bad.
Well, your mother told you this would lead to blindness... you should have listened to her!
I was mistaken; those are simple hemorrhoids. Nothing to worry about but it certainly isn窶冲 a pretty picture, b-e-e-elieve me.
I believe that your condition may be treated with penicillin. In the future take 窶湾recautions窶... this is, after all, the 窶90s
It appears that you have been impregnated by extraterrestrials.
Your colon will soon burst due to your excessive fiber intake. Skip the fruits and vegetables for a few weeks and pig out on chili dogs.